A lot of things have changed

We've been through sooo many changes in the last two years.  Most of which came in the last 12 months.  It's crazy to look back and see how far we've come.

12 months ago Neil was getting ready to leave for Alaska for 17 weeks.  SEVENTEEN!  I was about 6 months pregnant with J & B, and Ellie had just turned 3.   Well, we obviously aren't in Alaska, the twins are almost 10 months old, and Ellie just turned 4!

It was a stressful and completely overwhelming time 12 months ago.  The girls were definitely not a planned part of our lives, and in conjunction with so many other things going on....I wasn't super thrilled about adding to the pile of worries I had already been facing.  For that, I felt guilty.  When really, all I wanted to feel was excitement--I wanted to feel elation that I was going to be part of a special group of women who get to bear and raise twins.  Given all of the issues surrounding the pregnancy, we knew it was nothing short of miraculous that I was expecting.  I just couldn't feel the way I wanted to....and even to this day I still wish I could go back and change how I felt.

My sister called me this morning and told me of a couple who just found out they were expecting twins.  It was extremely weird to hear of their story, and to feel sad.  Or even jealous or angry....that they were so thrilled about expecting twins....and I couldn't go back and experience those same feelings (when we initially found out---I became excited towards the latter part of the pregnancy).  I felt upset that I could never go back and re-live  that moment with Neil.

I took a management position for a company that I'd worked for previously, and since doing so I've been working 40+ hrs/week.  It's been overwhelming and hard.  Hard to cope with the fact that I don't get to see me girls as much as I used to/would like to.  Hard to juggle Neil's schedule, with mine, with my employees and with the babysitter.  It's been hard...and its felt like going from 0 to 60 MPH without any warning.  But, I'm grateful....for many things.  The biggest thing (and most important) I'm grateful for is the appreciation its given me for the time I have.  The time I have to spend with my family is that much more valuable.  I would like to say I don't ever waste a second with them, but I'm not perfect.  I do know that I'm proud of how this challenge has changed me.  Its helped me realize what is really important, and it sure isn't a lot of the things I USED to be involved in.  So, my house isn't perfectly clean, or the dishes are always piled up in the sink.  I'd much rather spend the precious time I have in this life putting puzzles together, making PB&J's, giving hugs and kisses, snuggling and reading a book, and just simply taking in the presence of my girls.  Those moments can never be replaced.  Feeling the lingering guilt of not enjoying my pregnancy with the twins is a constant reminder that I can do better, and be better for my kids.  I can't change what has already happened, but I can make a choice to change what will happen.

I choose them.

Its hard being 3

Was-On-Ya....= lasagna

Mommy, why did Jesus make me so pretty? 10/17/12

Mommy, Jesus is going to be at the halloween party....and I love him soo much!


First of all, we're anti-lasagna around here.  Even though I made some last week, and E was secretly enjoying it.  Then again, we're anti-any-food around here lately.  Which is weird, cause E has always been a fantastic eater.

The next two comments were made the same day....and in fact, within 10 minutes of each other.  I was helping E get ready for our halloween party.  She was Snow White this year, and she loved that I did her hair and put make-up on her.  She really did look very pretty.  I'm biased, but I'm also aware of the fact that she usually looks like a "wild woman" (her words, not mine:) because she refuses to let me wash her hair or brush it daily.  Seriously, I know it results in a ridiculously dirty child, but I hate going down that road of tremendously huge tantrums that are a result of simply uttering the words "bath".   Anyway, back to the topic on hand.  She was actually BATHED that night, so she did in fact look pretty.  She smelled pretty too.:)

3 years, 11 months and 2 weeks old

Living with an almost 4 year old brings a lot of emotions.

My conversation with Ellie yesterday was quite interesting.  It went something like this:

E: Momma where's fluffy? (her white stuffed dog)

Me: Fluffy is taking a bath in the washing machine, she was super dirty!

E: NOOOOO!!!!  I LIKE fluffy dirty.  Get her out mommy!

Me: Ellie, she'll be all wet, lets wait till she's done in the dryer.

E: No Mom.  I want her now.

Me: I'm sorry, Ellie.  We're just going to have to wait till she's dry.

E: Fine! (storms into MY room and slams the door).....then I'm going to stay in your room ALL DAY and blow raspberries at you!

Well, fine then!:)  Back at ya!:)

3rd time's a charm....or maybe 4th.

Things have been crazy around here lately.  Wait.  They're always crazy.

I've struggled to get a photo of Jordyn AND Brynlee smiling at the same time....eventually I kind of gave up.

Here's what I finally captured yesterday:

Uh, okay girls....not cooperating!

At least one of you thinks I'm funny!

awww....come on!  Soooo close that time!

Finally!  Team work!

E really is this awesome.

(That dress really is that nasty.  That dress no longer exists it was so nasty.  E wore that dress 24 hrs. a day for a week straight.  She would only take said dress off for baths, and then it went immediately back on. She occasionally still asks for that dress.  I'm not sure how, but I managed to get rid of that dress.:)

Life is going great over here in our new little area.  We survived the move, and are loving all the extra space we have. Its a great town home, and fits all 5 of us really well.  Where it gains in space, it lacks in storage though.  So, even though we've been here almost a week now, we've still got boxes hanging around as we try to shift and juggle things to give them new homes.  Or maybe thats my excuse for dragging my feet in the unpacking department.:)

E is L-O-V-I-N-G our new place.  The second day being here, I think we had close to 7 or 8 kids hanging out in our little backyard area.  E heaven.  Thankfully, those numbers have died down.  There is a few kids who come regularly, and one girl in particular who comes over after school every day.  E loves it and is glad to have made friends so quickly.  

The church isn't too far from here, and is actually a ward that fills the chapel + some!  It seems like a great fit for us, with lots of couples our age.  E is a little disappointed that her sunbeam class is full of boys.  She doesn't like boys right now.  Bummer.  Well, there seems to be enough girls close to her age that we may survive that.:)

The girls are 5.5 months old already!  AAAHHH!!!  Where has the time gone?  Its disappeared along with my half-way decent sleep!  Yes, I'd love more than anything to say that they are both sleeping through the night.  They're aren't consistently yet.  Well, I take that back....cause by book terms, they're sleeping 6 hr. stretches, which is considered "through the night".  

My terms: 

Sleeping through the night: sleep that endures from the time the child is put down, uninterrupted, till a reasonable morning hour of no earlier than 7 AM.

We're working on it.:) I think a big reason for them not sleeping through the night (according to my terms) is because there are 2 of them.  Not necessarily because they wake each other up, although sometimes that is the case, but because Neil and I are always going in there BECAUSE we're worried they'll wake each other up.  We've slowly come to realize that twins can sleep through the others crying.  At least somebody is getting some sleep around here!

Speaking of sleep, or lack thereof, and 7 AM wake up calls....the only reason I'm getting a post done right now is because I've been up since 6 AM.  Neil's new job requires him to be at work @ 6 am.  Which does wonders in forcing us to go to bed at a decent hour.  Its also nice having him home earlier in the day.  Here's to a supervising position that gives him great hours, in my opinion!

Well, that's that!  People keep asking for pictures of our new place....yet  no one is willing to come unpack pictures and decorate for me~ what gives?  *sigh* I need a personal interior designer...application coming soon.  Work is volunteer, and there are no benefits, except chicken nugget-lunches will be provided.

More from the mouth of E:

E: I know Jordyn Kylie.
Me: What about Brynlee Ann?
E: ANNNDDDD....I'm Ellie Hinchey.
Me: Yup.
E: My middle name is Ellie-jandro.  Ellie Ellie-jandro.
Me: No, your middle name is Marie.
E: And Ellie-jandro.

Neil sometimes sings part of the Lady Gaga song titled "Alejandro"....and she thinks they're talking about her.


E: Mom, I'm going to get my wiggles out.
Me: Okay, run  up and down the stairs 2 times!
E: No, mom.  I'm going to jump up and down on the couch, and smack my head on the couch and the pillows, and then run around in circles.
Me: Okay!

I'm sure the head smacking will get those wiggles out, why hadn't I thought of that before!

Out of the mouth of E

Some funny things from E:

E: Mommy, I love 3 fathers.
Me: Really?  Who are they?
E: Jesus, Angel Ramoni, and....God.

E: Angel Ramoni has feathers and is on top of the temple.

E: I love ALL the Angel Ramoni temples!


Some words she says that crack me up:

Pepper-oni
Sprinkle-ers
and of course....Ramoni


This little girl is growing and changing so quickly!  Lately she's been repeating us WAYYY too much. I constantly have to remind Neil, and myself, to watch what is said because she's a little snoop and is always repeating us.  The joys of threedom-hood.

A first

Jordyn rolled over for the first time yesterday.....and I missed it!

She actually did it several times.

Boo.

They change so fast!

Life is flying by, and I'm not sure where its gone to!

We're still super busy around here.  Even though the girls are only 2 months old, we've come to discover that we're getting pretty snug in this 2 bedroom apartment.  We've been looking for a 3 bedroom place for a while, but haven't come across the right one yet.  Eventually.

I've been working like a horse trying to get the girls "sleep trained" and I think I can finally say its starting to pay off.  If I remember correctly, E picked it up a lot quicker than Jordyn and Brynlee have....but it could simply be the fact that there are 2 of them to keep each other up.  We're starting to get regular 6 hour shifts at night, and in the last 7-8 days had two 8 hour shifts.  We've still got a long road ahead of us (cause I'm sure the whole teething process will begin in a few months)....but I'm optimistic that I'm not going to fall over dead from sleep deprivation!

I took the girls (yes, all 3 of them) into the Dr. the other day cause I accidentally chopped off Jordyn's finger when I was cutting her nails.  They weighed her when we were there....and she's just about 10 lbs! Brynlee isn't too far behind her.  So, if I do the math right:

Jordyn+15 lbs. of carseat= 25 lbs.
Brynlee+15lbs. of carseat= 25 lb.s
diaper bag= 5 lbs?

So anytime I go anywhere (not factoring E into the equation) I'm hauling

55 lbs!

down/up 3 flights of stairs!

Its a good workout for the arms.  Too bad it doesn't work out other areas for me too.:)

Life finally feels a little less chaotic, though not any less busy.  E is still loving her ballet class and her first dance recital is coming up next week!  I can't say I know how its going to turn out, but I know its going to produce some good laughs.:)  She's growing like a weed....and I can't believe I'll have a 4 yr. old at the end of the year!  E is finally starting to get used to having Jordyn and Brynlee around, for the most part.:)  She still has her moments....but she's doing a much better job of leaving them alone when they need to be left alone.

Neil is settled in here with family life.  He claims daily that he still can't tell the girls apart.  I'm not sure I can most of the time either.  There is enough of a weight difference (right now) that I can tell that way.  People always ask how we tell them apart, and I usually say that we can't really.  But thats not REALLY the truth....here's what we've discovered:

1. Unless the girls are can  be compared to each other, its really HARD to tell who's who.

2. Jordyn weighs more

3. Brynlee has a tiny (minuscule) red birth mark on the back of her head.  Which will be pretty irrelevant  once her hair starts growing.**They pretty much are still bald**

AAAND.....thats all I have for you.  Some people claim they can tell them apart by the shape of their noses (they're slightly different)....but I can never who has which nose, so I don't rely on it.

The girls seem to have blue eyes.  "Seem" meaning that they keep getting lighter and lighter instead of turning darker and going brown.  I realize they're still pretty young, but its weird that Neil and I both have brown eyes, yet we produced to blue-eyed girls.  One lady from our ward asked if they both had blue eyes....imagine if they didn't.....that would be a given on telling them apart!

Anyway, on to the good stuff.  Pictures.

Who has time for updates anymore?

I'm pretty sure over the last 7 weeks I've only managed to find the time to shower....well, you probably don't want to know that.

On a less disgusting note:

We're alive and partially functioning!  I have a friend (who also has a toddler + twins) who said that the first year is a complete blurr.  I believe her.  The last 6 weeks...to be completely honest, I vaguely can recall any of it.

Jordyn & Brynlee are doing great despite how I feel physically.:)  It IS reassuring to see them thriving even though I'm not.:)  When they came home from the hospital they were just a few ounces over their birth weights.  Now, at 6 weeks, they're pulling in just under 9 lbs each.  At their last check up they were both in the 3rd percent for weight....now they've jumped up to the 17th percent....go girls!

A lot of people wonder why it takes me several days (or even a week or more) to return phone calls or text messages.  I'm sorry...its not because I'm avoiding anyone!  Usually, if it isn't urgent, I don't have a lot of spare time....and when I manage to get 15 min. alone, I find myself staring at the wall in exhaustion if there isn't other things that NEED to be done.  I thought I'd timeline it for you all, just so you can get a clearer idea of how my days are.

6-7 AM:  Feed, change and entertain girls
7:45-8:30 AM: Put girls back down for a morning nap, takes anywhere from 30-60 min.
9 AM: pump (20 min or so)
9:30 AM: E is up for the day, get breakfast, wash dishes
10 AM: try and sneak in a cat nap, fix bottles for next feeding when the girls start getting fussy (close to feeding time again)
10:45 AM: wake girls up again to feed, change and maybe some tummy time.
12:00 PM: put twins down again for another nap
12:30 PM: make E lunch, clean the house
12:45 PM: put pacifiers back into 2 little mouths for the 2 time in 15 minutes.
1:00 PM: pump again
1:30 PM: grab something to eat/attempt another catnap (sleep usually trumps eating:)
1:45 PM: twins are up again for another feeding, diaper change and the works
3:00 PM: girls are down for yet another nap
3:30 PM: finally get some time to do something with E
4:00 PM: more dishes, laundry etc.
4:45 PM: wake girls up to eat AGAIN
5:30 PM: put girls down for another nap
6:00 PM: pump again
6:30-7PM: dinner
7:30 PM: more dishes, picking up/straightening the house
7:45 PM: wake girls up for another feeding
8:30 PM: put girls down for bed
9:00 PM: start E's bedtime
9:30 PM: FINALLY settle down (twins permitting) on the couch exhausted.
10:00 PM: Restock...yes, you read that right.  I restock our diapers, wipes, wash clothes, bibs every night
10:30 PM: get ready for bed/watch t.v./stare at the wall
10:45 PM: get the twins up again for another feeding
11:45 PM: climb into bed (while Neil takes the girls for the next 4 hours or so)

And wash and repeat....day in....day out.

So, thats our day on average.  Obviously it changes some, but for the most part its the same routine.  It's  such a different dynamic having two newborns...you really can't relate unless you've had twins (or more) yourself.  I know I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

Geez....that was a long post.  Kudos if you read it all